Yesterday, I did the following, as a result of watching too much HGTV.

1. Spray painted the patio furniture.

2. Scrubbed the cushions on the patio furniture.

3. Pressure cleaned the patio.

On spray painting the furniture:

Everything looks easier on HGTV. I didn't use the complex mathematical calculation they do when determining from which direction to spray paint, and therefore ate several clouds of Krylon white spray paint.

On scrubbing the cushions:

My brother and his pot smoking friends use this furntiture. Our little bitch of a dog Madison routinely leaps the fence of her doggy enclosure and after priming her paws with dog shit makes a beeline for whatever looks most recently cleaned. I give it three days before the smell of dog turd competes with the lingering cloud of pot smoke that resides on the patio.

On pressure cleaning the patio:

A good way to feel very manly and capable is to pressure clean something. Also a good way to choke on mixed clouds of gasoline vapors and little water droplets is to pressue clean something.

My brother was working up in the attic yesterday. He interuppted my pressure cleaning to ask if I wanted Subway. When he got back we sat at the table eating and exchanging gruff, manly banter while basking in home-improvement comraderie. I am not a man.