Today I went to see a pain management doctor to get cortisone shots. Cortisone shots are basically like epidurals given to women in labor to dull the pain, which my mom described to me as "needles this long" using her full wingspan to illustrate.
"Do they hurt?" I asked sqeaming in the passenger seat from the pain radiating from my three herniated disks.
Reassuringly: "Well you are in such intense pain by the time that you get the epidural that the epidural is nothing compared to being 8 cm dialted."
Less painful than childbirth. Thanks, mom.
More honest than my doctor, who described it as a ten second burning sensation followed by a feeling of pressure. I guess if pressure means attaching a landmine to the nerve that is already being sufficiently tortured by your misbehaving disks, then pulling the pin; yea, sure, I felt pressure.
"You did well" said Dr. Cameron after raping my intravertebral spaces with a needle the size of a hotdog. "I once had a marine that passed out during the procedure. Whats your schedule like next week for the second injection?"
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